Saturday, March 14, 2009

Queer-life... not to be confused with "cool life"

This day has been crazy busy. 
Basically it consisted of, in this order:

Wake up, looking like a crazy-ass-hot-mess.
Down coffee and cigarettes.
Talk on the phone to 4 different people as I pretended to be productive.
Spend time dinking around in my kitchen.
Touch up my pink hair, and ran around like a chicken without a head trying to get ready to go out (almost left the house with only one eyebrow drawn on. Not ok.)
Long ass ride in the car which took about 3x as long as it should have.
CD release party (which was a bit disappointing, but not bad, perhaps more on that later.)
Home, change clothes for comfort, and make up my bed.
Go out to dinner with my cousin and sister for like 2 1/2 hours (fucking tasty food!)
Come home, with aforementioned cousin and sister, and consume copious amounts of coffee and cigarettes once again, until about 12:15. 
Talk to mom on the phone at 12:30 for a while.
Cut and color roommate's hair.
Play with Foxy.
Stumble around on the internet.
Wash face and try to wind down.
Stumble more, and creep around on myspace... which seems to be what I do when I have nothing left to do.
And I just think that I should put it out there... at this moment, I am enjoying reading some nice queer erotica, and having blue drink in my freshly made bed with my cat.
Just so you know.

Let's hear it for sexual frustration!
Or no.

I am going to try to sleep now... 
Only to wake up in four hours to go to fucking BRUNCH with a large group of family... There is going to be a lot of estrogen going on.
I guess that's what I get for letting my mom talk me in to "quality family time" with bribes of shopping.
I'll remember that for next time.


Friday, March 13, 2009

Fuck Ramen.

I made myself Ramen just a few minutes ago, thinking that I really wanted it because I kind of just forgot to eat all day... and now- I definitely do not want to eat it. Damn.

So sometimes people disappear from my life for a long time, and suddenly resurface. And usually it makes me happy, unless they are someone that I chose not to speak to.
But in the case I am referring to currently, it is a nice thing. 
I missed said person, and I am glad to hear from her. And it is of course, always nice to know that someone wants me in their life. 
Yes... Nice. 

In other news, I am going to hopefully stop by a CD release party tomorrow, then spend some time with my family that is in town for my uncle's wedding.
Hopefully the day will go by without a hitch, but one can never really tell with my family. 

Now it is time to smoke and get ready for bed.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

It's warmer from worlds away...

It has been a very strange last couple of days.
I received some very foreboding news on Monday, and while I'm trying to stay positive, it has been difficult. 
My life seems to be getting more complicated.
I guess that's what I get for "growing up."

I'm going to try to arrange a lovely trip to Chicago soon.
I need some best friend time for sure.

On another note, my parents suggested that I take bartending classes, and offered to pay for them. 
I think I might take them up on that one.
Because knowing how to make fabulous drinks with equally fabulous names is always a good skill to have.

My personal favorite drinks, and how to make them:
White Russian-
2 oz vodka 
1 oz coffee liqueur
1 oz cream
Mix over ice and serve.

Captain and Coke-
4 oz rum
8 oz Coke
Mix and serve over ice.

Colorado Bulldog-
1 oz vodka
1 oz coffee liqueur
1-2 oz milk
1 splash Coke
Mix in a shaker everything except Coke.
Pour into glass over ice and add Coke.

Vodka Red Bull-
2 oz vodka
1 small can Red Bull
Mix and serve over ice.

1.25 oz Rum
12 mint leaves
1 T. sugar
0.5 oz lime juice
2 oz soda water
Place mint leaves at bottom of glass.
Add crushed ice, and all ingredients.
Garnish with mint leaves and serve.

My favorite drink names:
Dead Nazi-
2/3 oz peppermint liqueur
2/3 oz Jagermeister
Pour peppermint liqueur into a shot glass and add Jagermeister.

Fuzzy Navel-
3 oz orange juice
3 oz peach schnapps
Combine ingredients and pour over ice in a tall glass. 
Garnish with orange slice.

Slippery Nipple-
1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
1/2 oz irish cream
Mix and serve as is.

Okie... Now that I've encouraged everyone to drink, I'm going to have (a drink or five) a shower, watch a movie, and try to clear my mind for the night.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Drop the white lines, because no one is clean...

Did he want you?
Did you want to?
Did you question what it meant to you 
With a beat betweeen your breaths?

So let's cut clean to the sex scene.
Drop the white lines because no one is clean 
And this beat won't wait for you.
Safe to say that you won't recall so, 
Let's just pretend nothing happened at all.

Oh my love where's the danger?
All my life I'm dancing with strangers.

Did he want you?
Did you want to?
Did you question what they'd think of you 
With a beat between your breaths?

So let's cut fast to the car crash 
Where the future went down with the past 
Cuz this beat won't wait for you.
Safe to say that I can't recall, 
So let's just admit nothing matters at all. 

Oh my love where's the danger?
All my life I'm dancing with strangers.


I've seen what you have made in all it's beauty.
What I cannot create I recognize.
Let's watch the night explode, just hold onto me.
I'll whisper you this truth uncompromised.

Wait for a heart that never lies, 
But not this time.
Watch those explosions in the sky and you'll go blind, 
But not this time.

Will you live in hope or dark desire?
What can I say?
Fuck love give me fire.

Have you seen what I've made beneath the wreckage?
Just suffer through the dust and there you'll find 
The color of a night that burned out from us.
Surrounded by it's glow our city lies.

Wait for a love that never dies and you've lost life.
One overdoes just to survive.
We'll shine this time.
We'll make headlines

Will you live in hope or dark desire?
What can I say?
Fuck love give me fire.


If you haven't given Blaqk Audio's "CexCells" a listen yet, do it NOW.
I swear I pretty much die a little inside when I'm listening- it really is that fantastic.
It is definitely an excellent CD, I can listen to the whole thing through without skipping any songs, which almost never happens. 
My personal favorites (def. hard to pick) are: 
Cities of Night
Again, Again, and Again

I can't remember who to give credit to for this photo as it has been in a folder on my desktop for a while, but I know I pulled it from

Friday, March 06, 2009

Every night devise, new heights in genocide. Lover I am loveless...

Shoes that I lust after (designer credit): D&G, YSL, Marni, Christian Louboutin for Rodarte

Ok, so recently I received an email asking how I manage to wear heels comfortably so often, and how I match them with more casual outfits. So I figure I will put out my tips and maybe they will be helpful to others.

Buying tips:
1. Try more than one size, because while I wear a size 9 in a flat, I am a 7 1/2 in most heels. Find the pair that don't slip, pinch or rub uncomfortably when you walk around- because being in heels for 8+ hours a day can get tiresome very fast if they are uncomfortable.
*note: If you have never worn heels, I absolutely DO NOT suggest going out and buying a pair of Loubs or Marnis with a towering 6 inch heel- you will regret it... and probably break an ankle. If you fear for your life when you're wearing them in the store, imagine walking around like that all day.
2. Find brands that fit your foot best (Guess is my absolute favorite, b/c they fit me perfectly) and always remember if a certain brand hurts your feet (I love Steve Madden designs, but they inevitably always hurt my feet- honestly, I sometimes buy them anyway.) There really is something to be said about brand loyalty, in my opinion.
3. Not to sound like a snob, but a lot of times price and quality DO correlate with one-another. This is because they have more effort and love put in to them. Truly- I worked in a shoe store for a little over 3 years, and learned a lot about these matters.
4. Get insoles specifically designed for heels... I haven't done this personally, but I do hear good things about Dr. Scholl's.
5. After a purchase, wear the shoes around inside and try some outfits on with them. If they bother you just being around at home, you probably should not be wearing them out for the day... because you will be miserable. (I have done that enough times to know better.)
6. Start slowly and work your way up to longer time periods of wearing and taller heels. Bring flats along with you when trying to get accustomed to wearing heels just in case, it could save your feet from a lot of pain!

Casual and daily wearing tips:
1. Basic black pumps are my best friend. They go with EVERYTHING... ALWAYS. I personally feel that a person cannot go wrong with black leather stilettos. (Except sometimes with navy blue.)
2. Jeans and solid color shirts almost always work with heels.
3. I am a matchy-matchy sort of person most times, so a lot of my shoes match my outfits or belts and purses. This is not a necessity! I just personally am very much a virgo in the sense that I like things to look like they go together almost all the time. 
4. I think everyone should own at least one pair of statement shoes. (Mine are mustard yellow satin ankle boots. I hardly ever wear them because I fear ruining them, but do know that I keep them on constant display, because I love them.) This brings me to...
5. Unless you are very daring, steer clear of mixing a very busy outfit with outrageous shoes. Basic shoes I find are best when wearing something very... intense.
6. Try your shoes with many outfit combinations, even if you don't think they will work with what you have on. Just TRY... you may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome. (I mix my cream and blue logo patterned, buckled Guess heels with a black long sleeve shirt, gunmetal grey down vest, and jeans... and somehow that combo works.)
*bonus!: Heels make everyone appear taller and leaner, and oftentimes more graceful (because you should always exercise a certain amount of caution when wearing a heel.)

I feel that I should also note that while I love to wear heels all the time, I know when flats are appropriate or necessary. Because shoes should make you feel good- not miserable. 
My best advice though, is probably that I think everyone should buy what they LOVE and not just what is mediocre or the hot ticket item of the moment. You will be much happier with your purchase, and will use it more often!
Well hopefully that helps a bit!

"All my friends and I toast to health and suicide. 
Lover I am lonely. 
Were you holding hands when my palms bled?"

Thursday, March 05, 2009

We'll slip into the velvet club, and be jaded...

I wore this just to run around and attempt to get shit done... Unfortunately, while these shoes are adorable, they positively kill my feet after half an hour of wearing them. And I'm accustomed to wearing heels, so its pretty ridiculous.

black knit belted sweater dress: target, leggings: burlington coat factory, black and white round toe heels: jessica simpson, white watch: guess, jewelry: custom/ vintage, paisley brooch: a gift from my mom

I really feel like going out or doing something fantastic tonight...


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

She had to take him down easy- put a bullet in his brain...

Oh god it has been so long since I have written anything on this biz... but I'm going to try and make up for that.
So much has happened to me since my last post... Recap!

I officially have a home. 
A fabulous duplex, an old victorian house thats painted bright blue. 
How perfect right? With THE most excellent view of Saint Paul. I have fabulous roommates, we will refer to and T&T, we have been friends since we were freshmen in high school...  and they have lovely dogs which always makes my day. And I must not neglect to mention that because I am "a girl", I get the entire 3rd floor bedroom loft to myself, and I have an excellent massive porch right off my room.
It feels so good to be in a permanent residence again, and to be back in the cities... I missed it so. This place really IS my home.

I got a kitty!
Actually, she's about 3, but I like calling her kitty. 
She is my little love, and follows me around the house and peeps at me all the time. She was a gift from my parents, because they felt that I needed "something of my own to love that wouldn't ever have a reason to abandon me." 
Adorable right?

I have seen so many good friends recently, and I'm trying to scheme up a trip to Chicago in the near future to visit my BFF. 
I fucking love the crew.

I am finally starting to feel more like myself again. 
Some days go by where I barely think about the shit that has been bothering me, and some days are really rough. But I am ok. Just a bit lonely. I miss knowing someone is there... But my "freedom" has been alright. 
I am getting there.

I have been freelancing with hair, because it is a fucking bitch to find a job right now. And I honestly just cannot lower myself to the great clips level.
Truth be told, it has been rough, but I'm making it... without starving mind you.
I'm confident that everything will work out though, it always does. 

-My hair is about 1/4 pink right now, and it makes me happy.
-I got my tongue pierced again two days ago, so now I have two large chunks of metal in my tongue instead of one. It was free too, or rather, a service trade off- always good. And happily, this time around it hasn't been bad at all. Yay!
-I just had a fabulous plate of homemade sushi, which also is fabulous. I've been on a sushi binge lately.
-I mass cleaned my kitchen this evening, which always makes me feel good.
-Some new clothes and accessories have been finding their way to me recently, even though I have had NO extra money. Gotta love free shit!

I am sure that there is plenty I have forgotten, but I'll fill in the blanks as I go.
OK! Here are some pictures of a bunch of things...